I'm going to be real honest here.
I have fallen behind on many things lately..
Because fear and anxiety..
In the last couple of months, fear and anxiety have crept into my head and have made me question myself on EVERYTHING!
...Am I doing this and that right? Should I be doing this instead? If I do this, could (insert something bad here) happen? If I DON'T do this, will that bad thing happen?? What do I have to offer? Will people like what I have to offer?? Am I even skilled enough to start a photography business!? Should I just give up?!...
It's like each question I asked myself was a brick and there was a wall being built, trying to stop me from going after my dreams.. and it was working. I started to doubt myself.
I had many days where I just didn't do anything to help me move forward.
I left my business starting tasks on an unchecked list, I didn't do many things I needed to do at home and I let my relationship with Jesus sit on the back burner.
"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know"
-You Say by Lauren Daigle
It shouldn't surprise me that this happened, because this wasn't the first time.
I tend to go through a cycle where I let the anxiety and the doubts take over, I get a little lost for a while and wonder why it's happening. Then I have a hard time figuring out how to get myself back on track, so I try to force myself to push forward and it just upsets me because I encounter problems that hold me back.
It's like that wall gets too high for me to climb over and I have nowhere to go.
That's usually when I have a little emotional breakdown and finally do what I should've done in the first place -pray!
Heartfelt prayer leads me back to the things that help me focus on the truth and strengthen my relationship with Jesus.
I get back to reading my bible and daily devotions and suddenly it's like that wall of fears shatters and I'm filled with peace, hope and confidence.
It has taken way too long for me to realize how important reading my bible and devotions is for fighting the lies that anxiety is constantly feeding my brain.
I don't think that wall will ever fully disappear, but with Jesus I'm walking through the rubble before anxiety has a chance to build the wall up too high again.
Now that I'm back on track and feeling a confidence only Jesus can provide,
you can expect to see some new things from me soon!
Like new photos, a business facebook page, new pages on my website and the launch of my business!!
Stay tuned! :)
"I will run and not grow weary
I will walk, I will not faint
I will soar on wings like eagles
Find my rest in your everlasting name
You are my revival
Jesus on you I wait
And I'll lean on your promise
You will renew my strength"
-My Revival by Lauren Daigle
Hey there! I'm excited that you're here!